The Seiner 101 on How Not to Have a Secret Boyfriend
by kamikaZ
Summary: This is the Seiner guide on how you should not go about having a secret boyfriend. Chronological Drabble-like Chapters. (Rate is a subject to change. Will most likely become M later on just for one chapter.)
1. Prologue

**Summary: **This is the Seiner guide on 'How Not to Have a Secret Boyfriend'. Chronological Drabble-like Chapters  
**Chapter Rate: **K+  
**Chapter Warnings: **Reference to sex if you squint extra hard. Boy x Boy pairing.  
**DISCLAIMER: **I own absolutely nothing but this plot- yeah I'm not too ecstatic with this fact either.  
**Author: **kamikaZ  
**Beta: **None

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**The Seiner 101 on How Not to Have a Secret Boyfriend  
****Prologue**

Hayner doesn't know exactly _how _it happened, nor exactly when. It just sort of… happened? Seifer and Hayner had always been Twilight Town's most infamous rivals, there was no doubt about it, you couldn't physically live in the town without having witnessed one of the two's epic catfights.

Rumor goes that some time last summer, on the hottest day in August, the two had such a massive disagreement that somehow a shopping cart had found itself catapulting down one of those narrow and windingly steep streets that the town was famous for. With Seifer in it.

Hayner was absent from school for the entire first week of semester that year.

So it was nearly apocalyptical to think that the two blonds were somehow, magically involved in some sort of almost mildly healthy, normal relationship.

No one would've believed it even if they were told. And that was perfectly convenient for the pair, because as Seifer had kindly put it- 'I'd rather gauge my eyes out, than be seen as your boyfriend, lamer.'

Right okay, maybe the relationship itself wasn't conventional either.

Because half the time Hayner and Seifer genuinely did sound like they hated the other's guts.

"So does this mean we're like…." The smaller male blushed, looking flushed and out of breath, his already unruly hair only unrulier from Seifer running his hands carelessly through the sandy blond locks. "Like, um… fuck-buddies? Rivals-with-benefits? Not that I care or anything!"

The older one laughed, extracting his infamous beanie from underneath Hayner's bed. "I'm not _that_ much of an asshole. I do have morals you know." Seifer sat gently next to the smaller boy, "Let's just say we're romantically involved."

"So we're boyfriends?"

"Sure chickenwuss, sure."

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	2. Do Not Grope your Boyfriend in Public

**Summary: **This is the Seiner guide on 'How Not to Have a Secret Boyfriend'. Chronological Drabble-like Chapters  
**Chapter Rate: **K+ (T if you want to be really strict about it)  
**Chapter Warnings:** There's minor groping? Boy x Boy pairing.  
**DISCLAIMER:** I own absolutely nothing but this plot- yeah I'm not too ecstatic with this fact either.  
**Author:** kamikaZ  
**Beta: **None

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**The Seiner 101 on How Not to Have a Secret Boyfriend  
****1. Do Not Grope Your Boyfriend in Public Areas.**

Hayner found it extremely lucky that he was two years younger than Seifer, because with him being a sophomore with Seifer being a senior, he had absolutely no classes with the other male. In addition, the thug was hardly even on campus half of the time- and boy did Hayner thank his lucky stars for this.

And since the seniors had an open campus grant, meaning they could go in and out as they wished- rarely any of them chose to eat lunch in the dingy canteen, with the even dingier food the place served. The burger place down the street was a much nicer venue.

So it was no surprise the poor boy nearly spewed his milk out all over the grimy lunch table when he saw the Disciplinary Committee stride through the cafeteria doors and make their way to a table, scattering freshmen to the sides as they moved. No body messed with Seifer's gang.

_Wait. Wait, oh god no. Please no._

The Committee wasn't heading for just any table; it was heading for _Hayner's. _

"Guys, look," Pence interrupted over Olette's string of complaints regarding Hayner's lack of hygiene- _don't just _spit _your milk Hayner, that's disgusting! _etcetera. "What do you think Seifer's gang wants?"

"I dunno," Hayner swiftly answered, flushing as Seifer's smirking face drew closer over the top of Roxas' blond spikes. He quickly resorted to channeling all his attentions determinedly into his watery pile of casserole. Because unlike the other male, Hayner was entirely too awful at the whole lying and pretending they weren't together charade.

"If he asks about the water balloons, just_ say no_," Roxas hissed hurriedly before Seifer came into earshot.

And when he did, the foursome straightened immediately, two out of the four (Roxas and Olette, only because Hayner couldn't physically bring himself to) fixed steady death glares on the three.

"Hi lame, lamer, lamest and lamette," Seifer greeted in a good natured tone as his group rounded the last table, "Make some room would ya~"

And to Hayner's utter mortification the blond thug hip-bounced him into Pence before occupying the space that had been rather forcefully freed for him. The bright blond strung a nonchalant arm around Hayner's shoulders, a lecherous grin on his face.

"Why you blushing chickenwuss, like what you see?" Seifer breathed tauntingly into the younger's ear, punctuating his sentence with a teasing nip to said male's ear. Needless to say Hayner's face matched a tomato's to picture perfect synchronization as a low, strangled sound reverberated from the male's throat when blue eyes met amber. It took everything he had to stop himself ripping Seifer's goddamn belly shirt off.

Seifer let out a loose laugh, flamboyantly retracting his arm as he leaned back, smirk ever present.

"What do you want Seifer?" Roxas spat, stabbing an unfortunate cube of chicken with his fork, "Except to harass us."

"What do _I _want?" repeated Seifer, amused. "Nothing much." He eventually shrugged, plucking a grape from Hayner's bowl.

A silent second ticked passed, as Seifer's lascivious smirk grew wider before swinging his legs in a wide arc out from under table, effectively angling himself around Hayner.

And unbeknownst to the others in both groups, the mischievous male snaked a probing hand underneath the table, sliding up the boy's thigh, leaving trails of heat in his wake. Quickly Seifer located Hayner's crotch, hovering just over it as he darted a glance at his boyfriend's speechless, stricken and flustered profile, one that refused to look at him. However this only proved to fuel Seifer's intentions more as he lowered down with resolution, palming the bulge beneath the camo-shorts with indulgence.

With a playful flick Seifer swiftly withdrew, flouncing out of the cafeteria with Rai and Fuu in tow, neither knowing any the wiser.

"Well that was creepy…" Pence concluded distastefully with a spiteful Roxas in agreement.

"Creepy?" Hayner squeaked rapidly, still flushed crimson from the tip of his nose to his ears, "What was creepy!? It wasn't creepy! Hahahahaa…." _Did they see?! Please dear lord, _tell me _they didn't see!_

The three gave him an odd look. "Well what do you think Seifer wanted then?" Pence asked.

"Yeah I'd definitely label coming over, doing absolutely nothing but flash that _creepy _grin around, before just leaving, suspicious," Olette agreed. She then shot Hayner another weird look, as if looking for something showing on his face, "Hayner are you feeling okay?"

"O-oh y-yeah, I'm fine."

"If you say so," came Olette's half-hearted reply, not that Hayner heard.

"_That bastard is going to pay for groping me in the middle of the cafeteria!"_ Hayner hissed furiously under his breath, raging darkly in his mind.

"What did you say Hayner?"

"Mm? Oh, nothing, absolutely nothing Roxas~" And with an innocently cheerful grin, the boy slung his bag over his shoulders, picked his tray up and bid the group good-bye as he hurried hastily down the general direction Seifer had left in.

_I swear I'm going to deck that asshat in the face when I find him._

The Usual Spot group was certainly very concerned for their friend as they exchanged puzzled glances, watching the boy storm with vengeance out of the room.

"Guys? Is it just me or was Hayner blushing?"

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**That would be Roxas at the end. Yup. Oh and sorry if there's any stupid mistakes, I didn't really check through that thoroughly. ^^;  
****Well this is journey's beginning? I'm your captain here, call me Kami~ /i do have another account, but this is probably going to be my secret BL writing one, hurr hurr :3/**


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